Adele opens up about her guilt over canceled shows in Las Vegas, breaking up with her dad and being a ‘sad person’ | Adele
Adele has opened up about her grief and guilt over losing her high-profile Las Vegas residency, which she canceled at the last minute in January, disappointing fans who had paid thousands of pounds to travel and stay there to assist.
“I was a shell of a person for a few months,” the singer reveals in a radio interview. “I just had to wait and cry, I guess, just cry the shows and get over the guilt, but it was brutal.”
Her comments follow her Friday and Saturday concerts in London – the first time she has performed live in five years. Ambushed by emotion at times during the performances, the singer let the crowd of 65,000 know that new US dates would be announced “very, very soon”.
Now Adele, née Adele Adkins, tells the host about Desert Island Discs, Lauren Laverne, that she had to privately deal with the consequences of her decision to remove the residence. “The show wasn’t good enough. Maybe my silence was deadly, I don’t know. But it was awful,” she said.
However, the multi-awarded star does not regret his withdrawal: “I really felt the disappointment of everyone and I was devastated, and I was afraid to let them down. I had thought I could put it together and make it work and I couldn’t, and I stand by that decision.
“I don’t think any other artist would have done what I did and that’s why it was such a huge story,” Adele adds. “It was like, ‘I don’t care. You can’t buy me, you can’t buy me for nothing. I’m not just going to do a show because I have to or because people going to be disappointed or because we’re going to lose a lot of money.'”
She also feels there was no reason to stay in constant dialogue on social media: “Of course I could be someone on TikTok or Instagram Live every day, saying ‘I’m working on it.’ Of course, I’m working on it!I’m not going to update you if I don’t have anything to update you, because that only makes the disappointment worse.
Speaking on BBC Radio 4 on Sunday morning, Adele, 34, explains how she escaped public scrutiny for swaths of her adult life. Her need to behave like ‘such a recluse’ may even have ‘fueled’ public interest in her, she suspects: ‘Sometimes it’s been two years and I haven’t been seen anywhere. I used to hang out at home. But I also have a whole setup of how I move, and no one ever knows, just so I can go out and be completely carefree.
Now, with the help of her new partner – US sports agent Rich Paul – the Londoner, who lives in Beverly Hills, says she is set to step back into the limelight. Paul, she says, encourages her to appear in public. “He’s like, ‘If you want to go to this restaurant, you should go try this restaurant’s food and if you want to go to this birthday party, then you should go. You can’t miss these things – whatever is the worst that can happen?”
The singer tells Laverne about her addiction to regular therapy sessions and her growing acceptance that she’s “a sad person.” Age and parenthood have also helped her, she explains. “I don’t have time now. I’m tired now: I’m older. It doesn’t take much for me to be content and happy.
But stage fright is something she’s unlikely to overcome: “My adrenaline means I’m excited and my nerves mean I want to go do a big show. When I don’t feel like it, I’m done – I won’t do it again. I think a lot of people don’t care anymore and it breaks my heart when I go to a concert or listen to an album and think, ‘I don’t think they care anymore about what ‘they do’. ”
Speaking candidly about her absent father, who died last year, Adele says that as a child he often let her down because of his “demons”. “I didn’t get his attention. I decided to stop seeing him when I was about 12. But when he fell ill, she visited him and discovered that they shared a sense of humor.
Discussing her recent widely publicized weight loss, she tells Laverne that she considers it a private matter but is upset that some fans might think she “betrayed” them.
“I understand why the press wants to know, because I didn’t share my journey like others do…I did it on the sly.” Exercising, she says, gave her “focus” and “made me feel like I was getting stronger mentally, by getting stronger physically.”
“But I felt bad for some people who felt like other people’s comments meant they weren’t beautiful or that they weren’t beautiful.”